Where does time go??

So I've been lucky to have a great company that will work with me on how long I take off work. I was originally planning on taking 6 weeks off work but then where I had to be on bedrest for 2 weeks I was bummed because I thought then I'd only have a month with Brooklynn and part of that would've been when she was in the NICU so really  I wouldn't have had much time at home with her.

Luckily I'm able to take 8 weeks off so I get more time with her which I love. I think it's going to be so hard to leave her the first day...but at least I know she'll be in good hands. My mom, Robbie's grandma and one of my friends will be watching her while we're at work which helps but it would be so much better if I could just do it every day!!! Hopefully eventually I can become a full time stay at home mom! But until then I'll treasure every minute i have with her!!!

So back to the title of my post....where does the time go???? I have to go back to work in less than a month!!! I know it's going to come so fast and I don't want it too!!!

Brooklynn's so Adorable!!

My friend, Jessica, was sweet enough to take some ADORABLE pictures of Brooklynn!! I loved how they turned out and am so thankful she did them for us! I've decided that Brooklynn will smile a ton until you get a camera in front of her face and then she stops! Hopefully she'll change that soon. She has brought so much joy to our lives and I'm so glad she joined our family. I don't know what I did without her! She will be 7 weeks tomorrow! I can't believe it's been that long!!

My Favorite Thing.....

Brooklynn was making a funny face so I told Robbie to match her face....but then Brooklynn changed her face....

 She will always be safe in her daddy's hands....

 Such a proud daddy

Their morning reading/music time. 

So I sure hope Robbie doesn't get mad at me for posting this....but the one thing I have loved the most, by far, is how much he loves Brooklynn! Even before she was born he was looking up dollhouses and talking about how she's not going to date until she is like 50, etc. He initially wanted a son so that he could coach the sports teams and rough house with him and when he found out we were having a girl he was wrapped right around her finger. 

Right after she was delivered he was right by her side just admiring her and watching everything they were doing to get her cleaned up. From the minute she arrived in this world he has made sure he has taken care of her and done what needs to be done. 

He is sooo cute with her. He asks me to text him pics of her throughout the day so that he can just see her. He has introduced her to different types of music (she won't learn this from me....I barely know any bands), he reads to her, he takes time every day just to enjoy her. I know that she just loves her daddy because he can get her to smile pretty much on cue and as soon as I try she won't do it. She'll do anything for him and vice versa. 

Having a child has made me realize how much I really love Robbie. I know I loved him before but just seeing him hold Brooklynn when she's crying and trying to make her feel better just melts my heart. He is just such an amazing guy and I'm so thankful he is in my life and that we will be together forever!!

Brooklynn is Home!!

I feel like I have so much to post about but no time to do it in!!! I tried downloading some pics from my phone to my computer so I could put them on the blog and just getting like 10 pics downloaded took forever and then I wanted to sleep...so I did. So I will continue to work on the pics but on the meantime I will update our last few days....

I went to the hospital on Monday to see Brooklynn with my mom and the nurse told us they would like us to "room-in" (where you stay at the hospital in a room...kinda like a hotel room...and the baby is still hooked up to everything but we can't see the numbers and then we just actually get to act like parents and change her diapers, feed her, wake up when she wakes up etc) and then if we felt comfortable and she passes the car seat test then we would get to take her home.

So we stayed the night and it seemed like she woke up a lot...more than we were used to because we had never had to get up for a child before. So I think we ended up getting like 1 hour of sleep. At 9 am the nurse came in and took Brooklynn to do her car seat test...which she failed within the first 10 minutes of, and so they tried her in another one that was meant for preemies and she passed it. So they brought her into us and said ok she's ready to go home...unhook her and change her and we'll take everything outside. I had thought they would unhook everything and maybe get her cleaned up before we left because she still had the stickers on her face from the oxygen...but they left that to us...oh well...at least we finally got to take our baby girl home!!!!!!!!

The first night she was home was CRAZY!!!! She slept probably no more than 45 minutes the whole night. I think it was a mixture of her trying to get used to a new place, actually being around her parents, nursing every feeding instead of bottle feeding, etc. By the morning I was so exhausted! I don't think I had ever been that tired before in my life. She would eat and I'd lay her down and then she'd just sleep for a minute or so and then wake up and cry. It was so hard for me because I have never been a mom before and I didn't know what to do for her to make her sleep. By 7 am she still wasn't sleeping so I just sat in bed and held her and just cried. I didn't know what to do, I was so frustrated, tired and emotional! I didn't realize that my emotions would be kicked up a notch once she came home but they sure were. I had to text my mom to see what advice she could give me. I sat and talked to Robbie and I just felt like an awful mom because I didn't know what to do.

She's now been with us since Tuesday and we're still trying to figure things out and get frustrated but I just love to be able to kiss her all day long if I want to or if I want to hold her without wires attached to her I can!!! I get to just sit and stare at her continually amazed that I really am a mom...this is what I have been dreaming of for years and it's finally happening! It's not exactly what i thought but it's pretty close. It's amazing to think that I am now responsible for this little child...Robbie and I are the ones that will make decisions that effect her life....so we better make good ones!

I will post pics soon!!!! She is now 5 lbs 6 ozs and growing like a week. I put a newborn outfit on her and it drowned her! But she will fit into it soon I'm sure. She still has thick, reddish brown hair, gorgeous dark blue eyes and is just so freaking darn cute!!!!! I can't wait for you all to meet her!!!

Pictures

    Here are a bunch of pictures of Brooklynn!!! They aren't in really any particular order but just a bunch I have taken over the last week and a half. I love the one with Robbie and Brooklynn. It is so sweet to see those 2 together. 

    Brooklynn is now 4 lbs 10 oz and quickly growing. She is now doing "ad lib feeding" where she wakes herself up when she's hungry and she lets the nurse know that she's hungry. Robbie and I have yet to really hear her use her lungs but I guess soon enough we will. The nurses just keep telling us that Brooklynn is running the show and everything revolves around her!! We are just so grateful she is in our lives and we don't know what we would do without her!! 

    She should be completely off oxygen tomorrow and as long as she can go a day without and "periodic breathing" (where she "forgets" to breath for like 10 seconds) then she can come home!!!!!!!! We are so excited!!! The nurse practioners all tell us that she eats like a champ and she's keeping her temperature up so we just are trying to get her off oxygen. I am so amazed at how quickly she is improving. Tonight my mom and I went and spent a few hours with her and she was awake for a full 2 hours!!!!!!!! By the time we were getting ready to leave she was so tired but she was fighting it so bad and I think it was because she knew that I would be leaving and wouldn't be back until the next day. It was hard to leave but knowing that hopefully by the end of this week she will be ALL MINE!!!! I just can't wait to cuddle with her and spend so much time with her. It's amazing how quickly our lives have changed and what a miracle she is to our family. I'm pretty sure it was a miracle that we got pregnant and then to have her born a month early and doing as well as she is...she's just a pure miracle! I love her so much and can't wait to see her grow up and reach her potential.

NICU

So Brooklynn has been in the NICU for a week and has made some amazing progress!!! The Nurse Practitioners that are watching over her have mentioned how amazed they are at her progress. She has had a feeding tube in her, IV for an antibiotic, IV for lipids to give her the nutrients that she needed. She had lost an ounce but she is now almost up to 4 lbs 5 oz!!!!

She has been eating so good the last few days. I am so proud of her!! It has been so hard to split my time in seeing her and resting! I believe that I was blessed to not have a hard delivery so I can focus my time on her and trying to rest so that when she comes home I can focus my whole attention to her! The nurses that have watched over her have been amazing and most of them have treated her like they were their own which makes it so much easier to leave her in their hands.

I have had a few emotional breakdowns. I just want to be able to hold my baby girl when I want to hold her and for as long as I want to. I know it will come in time and I just need to be patient but it's so hard some days! Robbie and I have tried so hard having a positive attitude which I think has helped a lot. We are planning on her coming home around her due date and not sooner so then if she does get released sooner then it will be a great celebration!!!

I just have to say that I am SO GRATEFUL for all of you that have expressed love, prayers and help in anyway that you can. I have felt the strength from those prayers. I know I couldn't do this on my own and days I plead to my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to get through this. I have found so many people that I wasn't aware of that either were in the NICU when they were little or had their own children in the NICU and they have been able to give us the strength that we need. I know that in 2 months it will seem like a distant memory but right now it feels like the 23rd will never get here. I just hope that I can be a mother to Brooklynn that she needs me to be. She already has shown me what a fighter she is and what an amazing spirit she has. She isn't going to give up so why should I give up on her? She is my little angel and she has daddy wrapped right around her fingers!!!

I will try to keep you all updated on what's going on and will add pictures soon. I think I have used all my energy to get caught up to this point. Thank you again for all your prayers and encouragement. We really appreciate them.

First Night

So after Brooklynn was born she was taken to be washed up and I got switched to another room. (I just have to say what GGGREEEAATTT nurses we had at Timp Hospital...every single one we came in contact with were amazing). They had mentioned Brooklynn was having a hard time keeping her temperature up so they were trying to keep an eye on that. They said if she couldn't keep her temperature up then she would probably have to go to the NICU! We had kind of been briefed on that before she was born by my doctor so we were a little more prepared.

The next morning I was informed she wasn't able to keep her temp up so she would be going to the NICU. She wasn't urinating like she should be, her red blood cell counts were up, she may have possibly have an infection from the Strep B. I think I was still a little naive thinking that she could be in the NICU for no more than a week and then be able to go home....boy was I wrong!!!!

We talked to the specialist that worked there and he told us to plan on being able to take her home on her due date which is January 23rd....that was almost a month!!! ONE MONTH!!! Here I was so anxious to take my little girl home to just love her so much and to show her off to everyone and I wasn't able to do that. We were told by my doctor that if he had waited another week to induce me she probably wouldn't had made it....he saved my daughters life! How grateful I am to him...he was such an amazing doctor in everything he did for us.

Our lives have changed!!!!!!!

I haven't blogged in forever it seems like!!!!! I have found that my time now is torn between going to the hospital to see our beautiful little girl, sleeping, pumping and trying to get our house ready to bring Brooklynn home. I am hoping to get you all caught up on what happened....bear with me if it takes awhile!!! This is the first time I have been on the computer for awhile (I have just been accessing facebook through my phone).

So we went into the hospital on Tuesday, December 27th at 6:30 a.m. We were suppose to be there Monday night but they had called us and told us that there was no room in the hospital (now I just think...."there was no room in the inn....lol) so we had to wait. We had gone in Monday for an amniotic fluid intake test and the fluid was down to 6.99 and our doctor had told us if it had got below 7 he wanted us induced sooner than Tuesday night.

So Tuesday morning they started me on Prepigel which softens the cervix because I was only dilated to a 1. I had to take 3 rounds of that and still didn't dilate at all!!! It was a long 18 hours...Robbie was getting anxious. So at 5 am Wednesday morning they started me on a Pitocin drip that was suppose to start contractions. I started feeling small ones but not anything really big. By like 7 am I still hadn't really progressed so the dr came in at 8:30 am and broke my water. After that I started feeling harder contractions which were painful but I thought that I was being a wimp so I had waited until like 10 to let them know I wanted an epidural which took like another hour to get cuz they had to check some lab tests to make sure it was ok to get on.

9:30-10:30 probably was the worst hour because the contractions were off the chart. I have a high tolerance to pain so the nurse was surprised I was doing so well. Once I got that epidural I was GREAT!!!!! I couldn't feel anything!!!

At 1:00 we had a scare where Brooklynn's heart dropped and they prepped me for an emergency c section just in case. The dr came in and checked me and said that I had progressed really quickly (within like a half an hour) and so he wanted me to try pushing.....4 pushes and Brooklynn had arrived!!!!! 2:31 pm Brooklynn MacKay Chaffin was born. 4 lbs 2 oz and 17.5 inches long. She had a full head of hair!!!!!!!! 

Arrival Date

We went to 2 different doctor appointments yesterday...man I have never been to the hospital/doctors so much in my life (for myself....since I work at a doctors office)!! I feel like I know all the nurses at Timp and of course I know everyone at my drs office.

We first had an ultrasound done to measure Brooklynn's organs and to make sure everything looked good and then Dr. Jacobsen, a maternal fetal medicine doctor, came in and talked to us about what she saw. She said that I have mild pre eclampsia and that Brooklynn was showing some stress from it but not a dire amount. Brooklynn is starting to push more blood to her heart and brain then the rest of her body so she is about 2 weeks behind in growth. The dr said that babies whos mom's have pre ecclampsia seem to be stronger because of the stress they have had to endure. They estimate that she is about 4 lbs 11 oz give or take 11 oz but the doctor said that she's "not a small child and is taking up a lot of room in there" so I think she may just be really skinny and tall. Dr. Jacobsen answered all of our questions and said that she would recommend her being born before 37 weeks but Dr. Hoggard, our OB, would make the final call. She moved my due date up to January 19th instead of the 23rd, which I am still confused about but then that makes me at 36 weeks this week instead of 35.

So after this appointment we went straight to see Dr. Hoggard. I just love him and the staff he has working for him!!! I had previously told Robbie that if we have to be induced I didn't want to ruin Dr. Hoggard's christmas and he just started laughing....I just have always hated inconveniencing people but Robbie and Dr. Hoggard confirmed that this is kind of a different situation and I shouldn't worry about it! But I still do! Anyways I guess the protein in my urine has gone up a little from last week and my blood pressure is starting to slowly creep up and so Dr. Hoggard confirmed that she should be born sooner rather than later so he turned to us and said that we could be induced Friday (tomorrow) or Tuesday the 27th.....wow I was in shock...even though I knew it was coming it still doesn't seem real. So I will go in tomorrow for another non stress test and if everything is still looking ok then we will go in Tuesday morning at 7 a.m. to be induced!!!

I am a little scared, nervous, excited, etc...I don't know what to expect and so that's hard but I trust the doctors and the thing that keeps coming back to me is 2 blessings I have received from 2 different people that said to listen to what the doctors say. I worry that Brooklynn will have to be in the hospital a little longer but she will be well taken  care of which I have no doubt!!!

So next week I will be a mom and it still just doesn't seem real to me!!!!!!!! What a blessing and a scary time! Thanks for everyone's thoughts and prayers. We have definitely seen many blessings in our lives and the support from family and friends.

So I guess the next post will be pics of our cute little girl!!!! Oh and by the way....she has hair! The doctor showed us it in the ultrasound which I thought was crazy but so cool cuz I had thought she was going to come out bald!!

Quick Update

All I have to say is if I didn't have my phone I would feel so disconnected from the world!!! There was a day that it was about to die and I couldn't get the charger to work and I think my blood pressure was raising just because of that!!

We went in for a non stress test yesterday which showed Brooklynn moving around, doing great but my blood pressure is continuing to creep up. I took it just a minute ago and it was 123/82 with me just laying down doing nothing so I have a feeling she'll be here before we know it!!

We have an appointment with the Maternal/Fetal Medicine doctor tomorrow to see if it is going to be more beneficial to me and Brooklynn for her to be born sooner rather than later and then right after that appt we have one with our OB so we can figure out what needs to be done. I was hoping to not have a baby so close to Christmas but it looks like it may be happening! But all I care about is having a healthy baby with no complications to me and her. I'll keep you posted on what the doc says....and I guess an estimation of when our little "cupcake" will be here!!

P.S.  On a funny note....I guess I should just document it in case Robbie or I forget this...which I doubt we will. Yesterday while we were at the hospital the nurse asked if I wanted anything like a snack, pop, sandwich, etc (She did ask about a sandwich). So I was freaking STARVING so I told her a snack, sandwich and juice sounded great. So Robbie just keeps teasing me that she didn't ask me if I wanted a sandwich and he's wondering how a sandwich is constituted as a snack....but I SWEAR she said sandwich and let me tell you...it was one of the best sandwiches I ever tasted!! (I'm sure it will be added to our bill but I was so starving!!!)